No Back-Up Plan

So I am about to have a major anxiety attack this morning!! AHH!! Ok, not really, I'm trying to be faithful and believe. AHHHHH!!!! As we are approaching the end of the school year, its time to decide if we will register Special Agent M for preschool next year or not. Slots are almost full and if we don't get on it NOW, chances are they will probably be full. HOWEVER, registering him is absolutely forming a back-up plan, in case God doesn't come through (which He always does). I have discovered that I have an innate ability to forget everything I heard at church, especially when I feel like maybe I got called out on something. Reading TS's blog has really challenged me (because isn't that what we do at the Vineyard?? We are either challenged or impacted. LOL) to work on NOT having a back-up plan. Just having that on my mind has made me really realize how LARGE of a back up plan I really have. I use the phrase, "if we don't go" probably 100 times a day. Nick and I sincerely believe God wants us to help with the Peoria plant and that we WILL be going. But with no actions showing us that we are.....we have started formulating. Plans, lots of them. With the house, with the business, with school, and the kids....in fact, if we DON'T go everything in our lives has been decided. That is SO sad. Be faithful. HAVE faith. I'm 100% sure ALL my actions have shown neither of those statements. This morning, I filled out the paperwork to register Special Agent M for preschool next year (already marking Tuesday/Thursday because I planned to partially homeschool next year with the other kids.), asked Mo to run it back to Mrs. Rhoades and started looking for the checkbook, so I could write a check for the registration fee. Which I couldn't find. Even though I always keep it in the same place. Weird. The filled out registration paper is still sitting on the table. No back-up plan in place....I am NOT registering him for school next year. Jesus help me. To the faithful You show Yourself faithful; To those with integrity, You show integrity. Psalm 18:25